CO-DEPENDENT . . . STILL

"In the past, excusing ourselves of all responsibility prevented us from being blamed. We have learned that it also prevented us from feeling worthy, from fulfilling our potential, from feeling the excitement that comes from achievement.

"Our fear of failure helped us to be irresponsible . . . "
Karen Casey
Each Day A New Beginning

Okay, this is NOT where I planned to go. I've been reading an incredible book by Philip Yancy. I perused my underlines and prayed about what I should post today. The sense I got was that I was looking at the wrong book.

I have keys in all my journals: P for prayer, PA for prayer answer, etc., etc., and UT for Ultra Transparency--for times when I'm just putting me out there, without mascara and blush, if you will. This entry qualifies for UT.

House Projects. They are NOT done.

A man from CODA (Codependents Anonymous) got me to thinking. He shared how he procrastinated with certain things because he was afraid he wouldn't like the outcome. Oh wow! Got that right!

I'd realized, already, that I had several craft projects, unfinished. Why? I had put SO MUCH time into them, what if I screwed up (irrepairably) at the very end? Well, I suppose not finishing prevents screw-ups; but it also prevents using the quilt or shawl that I've started.

As I read the above quote, I thought of house projects. One of our undone projects is carpet. We've needed it for a good decade. But . . . what if? The What Ifs will get you every time.

What if we choose the wrong colour? We cannot afford a redo; we'll be stuck with ugliness forever. OR, what if we pick poor quality? Then it "won't" last "forever," which of course is our hope and intention.

Codependents often don't trust their decisions. Add to that, I grew up with, "If you don't take care of this one, you won't get another." Unfortunately, I put those words in God's mouth. I expect that if I do something wrong, punishment and shame are sure to follow.

But Good News! God's been growing me for years toward seeing Him as a loving Father. And now, CODA is helping me recognize the roots of some of my thoughts so that I can pull them out and replace them with truth.

Speaking of which . . . CODA starts in 15 minutes. Gotta Run. Till next time, I am . . .

Utterly Dependent on Him (and He is Utterly Dependable),
Lonnie

BORROWED WORDS . . . CHANGING AGAIN.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."
Ecclesiastes 3: 1 NIV

The book I'm reading says it's natural for blogs to evolve--and so mine shall.

I've tossed all my handwritten note cards.

 I've recycled several of my political books. That was a great season! I learned so much.

I'm in several seasons now:

Recovery: (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families; Codependents Anonymous)

Prayer

Psalms

Classics: (Last year, I read The Grapes of Wrath. I am, now, within 20 pages of finishing The Agony and the Ecstasy: Novel of Michelangelo.

All topics will still revolve around "borrowed words." I love words and the colours people create in their use of them. 

I'm so hoping that you will join me in my journeys--that you'll find yourself nodding your head, laughing, being convicted, feeling awestruck by God's love, finding hope along with reason and strength to persevere.

Because one thing that permeates every day of my life and every lesson that I learn is this:

I AM UTTERLY DEPENDENT (AND MY GOD IS UTTERLY DEPENDABLE!)
Lonnie

REPUBLICANS WIN

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercessions and thanksgiving be made for all people--for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness."  1 Timothy 2: 1-2 NIV

It used to be that employees got raises for time served and good behavior. (smile) I currently work where raises are "scheduled" according to how many hours I've invested in the institution: not for promptness, good use of time, hard work, or taking initiative. And only if wages aren't frozen to deal with a recession or budget shortfall.

I'm motivated by work ethic and raises given according to work performed; but it does make me ponder. Are raises then a compliment? Or an expression of increased responsibility? I suspect both.

As the news media tells the nation, in bold print, that the Republicans have taken over control of the House and the Senate, I ask the same question and come up with the same answer. Shall Republicans receive this as a compliment? Sure, they should. Should they also receive it as a trust; an expression of increased responsibility? Absolutely!

I've tried to do much reading in the last 6 months on the business of politics. These men and women face no easy task. Passions and compromise are hard to reconcile. 

When writing fiction, authors are encouraged to give villains redeeming qualities, and heroes a character flaw. None of us is perfectly good or perfectly evil. Can we believe that and trust God?

Can we remind ourselves that God raises up government officials for our blessing--or for our discipline. And yet, with that, we are always called to pray and obey. But knowing, when we must choose between obeying man's word or God's Word, Always God!  

" Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." Romans 13: 1 NIV

Ever-Dependent On Him,
Lonnie
  

WHEN PROTEST WORKS

" The aim of effective and transformational protest should be to illumine a society to its need for change. In other words, protest must be instructive to succeed . . . The power of protest is not in its anger but its invitation.

"In fact, those who protest should be making a promise. They are promising their society that a better way is indeed possible."
Jim Wallis
God's Politics
HarperSanfrancisco  2005
p. 46


Cataracts would be a good excuse for not posting for so long, but it's also a cop-out. Life gets busy and priorities aren't as easy to set as it seems they should be.

As you see, I've picked up a new book. Elections are less than 2 weeks away. I'm trying to be wise and responsible. (For a while, my co-dependent self was trying to make sure everyone else was too.) I'm trying to read fast, which is nothing short of laughable. I'm praying, incorporating verses from Proverbs: "Help me to not lean on my own understanding, but to acknowledge You in all my ways so that You can direct my paths."

Each political book I read confuses me more--and yet adds a to my understanding of the political process. Each book presents perspectives I haven't thought of. This time, among many other issues, I'm looking at protest.

I guess it's a no-brainer that venting, alone, does little good. Protest needs to be tempered with alternatives--and hope. Wallis allows readers to see that played out. 

Wallis and church leaders warned the Bush administration about disasterous consequences to war in Iraq. They presented a 6 step alternative which included still dealing with Hussein but protecting the Iraqi people. Unfortunately, the plan was not received and the consequences have been as disasterous as expected.

BUT . . . I believe the plan was well thought out and had it been implemented, we'd be living in a different world. I absolutely believe that there are times when the alternatives WILL be received. When the wisdom WILL be recognized. I don't believe we can give up.

Example: poverty/taxing the rich/welfare. Some believe all poor are stupid and/or lazy and deserve nothing. With others, their compassion (or desire for control) runs so deep that they would, unconditionally, give the poor everything they need or want. You know--as we ALL do, that there is some middle ground to play with. Or as Jim Wallis would say, "There is a Third Way."

I've written my first letter to a senator this year. I expressed thankfulness for some measures she's taken. I also asked if there weren't some way to deal with a couple issues that would respect the rights and beliefs of both Republicans and Democrats.

What can I say? It's a start.

Ever Dependent on Him,
Lonnie



  

WHEN POLITICS WORKED

"More than any other event in recent times, the Social Security compromise demonstrated that there is a political center in America that can govern for the benefit of the country even when there are extremely difficult problems to be faced and strongly held differences of opinions about solutions."
(emphasis mine)
Chris Matthews
Tip and The Gipper: When Politics Worked
Simon and Schuster  2013
p. 250

Ray tells people that I shook the bed laughing so hard at Barbara Johnson's book, "Stick A Geranium In Your Hat."

I knew Mom would enjoy the book, too. She had a fully functioning sense of humor and a contagious laugh.

"When does it get funny?" she asked.

Whoa! I didn't see that coming.

I feel a bit the same way about, "Tip and the Gipper." When politics worked? I was two thirds through the book and hadn't seen it yet. I hadn't seen two parties cooperating with one another.

Then I realized, I had twisted expectations. "Working" isn't about pleasantries and good manners. (It's not even about nice language.)

"Working together" is about two people/parties who are absolutely passionate! Passionate about what the problem is and passionate about how to fix it.

"Working together" more resembles a boxing match; each giving and taking blows of blame and insults--sometimes getting bloodied in the process. It's about not giving up, until -- one or both realizes that the wins and losses are about the people they serve. It's about partial wins, trade-offs--compromise!

Social Security (a hot button which will probably never cool down) drew a line of barbed wire between President Ronald Reagan and Speaker Tip O'Neil.

"The Democrats on it [Greenspan Commission]had been pushing for more revenues in the system, while their Republican fellows were insisting on lower payments to the retirees. The result, as the deadline neared, remained a stalemate . . . with the Democrats hoping to make the system of greater value to those who need it most and the Republicans looking for ways to reduce the burden on those paying in." p. 246

BOTH  sides had valid views. Both sides were thinking of the people. Yet both would attack the problem from a different direction.

Knowing that "no compromise" only hurt the people they were trying to help, creative thinking had to take place. O'Neil considered a progressive tax solution (versus his preference of no increased payments).

Delay in cost-of-living increases came to the table.

Higher income brackets paying income on half of their Social Security benefits made an appearance, too.

In the end, "the changes favored low-income Americans and ensured the survival of a strong Social Security system."  p.250

"There was a sense, on a certain level," Chris Matthews writes, "of working together in the service of the country. What's strange is that I can claim such a thing even though the rivalry was often so ferocious."  p.251

I don't know if we need two parties; but we need, at least, two points of view. (Isn't one point of view synonymous with dictatorship?) Neither side may have the whole answer, but between the two, they may come up with a solution better than either side has on its own.

I, apparently, had seen "working together" as one side finally seeing the wisdom of the other side and conceding to it. Perhaps, to me, working together was a kin to good sportsmanship; someone winning and the loser not blaming the umpire or the coach, but just accepting the loss with hopes of better luck next time.

BUT

I'm beginning to see that politics work when you fight for what you believe in--you even fight hard! But, in the end accepting some trade-offs and partial wins for the good of the people--ALL people.

EverGrowing,
Lonnie

HOW BIG IS THE MIDDLE?

We often think of "the middle" as a small, almost invisible place between two larger, but equal sides. Perhaps we need to change the picture. If we don't, when we ask people to meet us in the middle, it becomes more like a line in the sand that we dare someone to cross. It becomes "my way or your way." 

What if the middle looked more like a 9 by 13 chocolate cake divided into thirds--thus making the middle not quite so threatening? If you'll pardon my pun, it leaves some "fudge room."  We can listen to one another's ideas, and even "consider" them without losing our party status and without shamefully surrendering our convictions.

I'm listening to Senator Elizabeth Warren's book, A Fighting Chance. I'm reading D'Sousa's book, America. I'm also reading, Tip and the Gipper. Trust me when I tell you, no one in my family or school class would peg me for reading anything of consequence, but . . . I hate being totally predictable, so that's okay.

As I experiment with stretching the middle, I'm finding one rather refreshing thing. Politicians aren't all monsters. They are passionate. Elizabeth Warren, having done extensive research on bankruptcy, found desperate families--not deadbeats. She has fought with all her power to bring them some relief. The bale-outs of big banks infuriated her, especially when help for multitudes of families facing foreclosures was needed and expected. Here's some middle ground I can step into.

Tip O'Neill would probably be your poster boy for big government; Ronald Reagan, just the opposite. Ben Carson and D'Sousa stand in a conservative camp, rather than in a liberal one or, what we now call, progressive. (Progressive definitely conjures up a different and more positive picture, but wears the same clothes as former liberals.) I don't deny that I "lean" toward conservative.

Our family experienced welfare: the help and the humiliation. I'm grateful for government's intervention. BUT . . . I see more and more that the government doesn't give without a cost. What they "give," they control.  The more people/institutions receiving government assistance, the greater the threat of government takeover. I know that sounds radical--not like middle ground, but if we look at freedoms and privacies that we have already lost, we can't help but consider that possibility. I repeat, "All politicians aren't monsters." Some, however, do not have your best interest in mind. We need to educate ourselves on issues and people from both sides. And we need to vote accordingly. Pardon my repetition again: We Need To Vote! 

One thing that sort of baffles me. We get so ticked at Congress because they won't cooperate with one another. No one will cross party lines! But what about us? Are we willing to see that both camps have their amenities, if you will? Can we vote a split ticket? Can we communicate with our congressmen and women and with our senators places where we think the other camp has some reasonable ideas? If we threaten to withdraw our votes when they "cross the line," how can we Expect Cooperation and Progress?

Really. Think about it.

EverGrowing,
Lonnie

BLACK AND WHITE: IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'!

"In politics there's a large divide between losing and being defeated . . . "
Tip and The Gipper: When Politics Worked
Chris Matthews
Simon and Schuster  2013
p. 173

"When Politics Worked?" Is that possible? In today's climate of undiluted stubbornness, it wouldn't seem so. And when compromise isn't seen as an option, we all lose. 

I loved reading Ben Carson's books and finding hope. I knew that some of his ideas, In America The Beautiful and in One Nation, if carried out by government, would hurt me. But, for the overall good and for the future of America and coming generations, I determined that someone had finally discovered some workable and sensible solutions. America was worth fighting for.

But, speaking of compromise . . .

I LIKE BLACK AND WHITE BUT, IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'!

I'd make a great Pharisee. I like absolute requirements because it feels like I'll get predictable results. Number one: I'm wrong. Number two: Jesus rebuked the Pharisees rather harshly.

I'd known that I needed to read the other side, whatever that looked like. I, typically, don't vote a straight ticket. To the best of my ability, I try to vote for the best person. That being said, I quit voting for the hot buttons--ones like gay marriage, abortion, etc that both parties "use" to get your vote and mine. Boy, I hate the games!

I ran across this Tip and Gipper book at a sale. I didn't have in mind the opposing viewpoint piece, but it is working in exactly that direction. It's a good read for me.

I'm seeing two men, not playing the rival for the sake of the game and competition; but two men who truly believe their way is best for America. These men (these parties) don't agree. But it isn't about chalking up victories so much as it is about each foreseeing the likely consequences of, for example, heavily taxing the rich or givng them breaks.

I also see the "games." And I'm beginning to see that they are not entirely avoidable. "'We haven't obstructed,' Tip explained. 'I think we fought a good fight as far as the Reagan people are concerned. We stuck to our timetable. We passed the largest tax bill and budget bill in history. It's the President's now. The ball is in his court--the deficits, the interest rates and unemployment.'"  p. 171 (emphasis mine)

It seems, at times, that it does a party more good to let the other party hang itself. Call it manipulation or call it wisdom; it's a game. But the score does get settled in the end. The parties and the American people see how it plays out. And, honestly, no one is guaranteed certain outcomes. Black and white ain't happenin'.  As it all plays out, we all learn--what works, what doesn't. The unfortunate part, is that often when mistakes are made, no one wants to take credit for them. We, then, not only question the wisdom of leadership but, more critically, their integrity and sincerity as well.  And . . . reversing the action and consequences seems impossible.

I'm sure there are politicians who have unhealthy agendas. And frankly, I feel that way about our current administration. But, I'm encouraged by reading about two men who (at least half way through the book) genuinely care for our country and the people--just in different ways.

God, give us leaders who love You and listen to Your wisdom--for only You know outcomes.

EverGrowing,
Lonnie